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Although everything seems to be fine so far, a serious conflict arises when these inner impulses of the child and their parents’ boundaries come into conflict. For example, asking a child who wants to enjoy all the fun of walking and running to take his mother’s hand in the street is a sufficient reason for a tantrum.

Children aged 2-3 years are faced with the biggest chaos of life. Giving up or not giving up on their own wishes … It is very difficult for parents to remain calm and patient during this period. Because it is not clear when a crisis will emerge in daily life. With which glass to drink the milk for breakfast in the morning, whether a hat should be worn when going to the park, whether it is possible to enter the pool even though they are wearing clothes, etc. many events can be the cause of stubborn wars. Regardless of the subject, there is actually only one reason behind all conflicts to be successful in fulfilling your own desires. At this age, children have not yet learned to postpone their needs, they naturally experience disappointment when their desires are not met, and there is only one method they can use to show their sadness, namely, stubbornness and cry when it doesn’t happen, and a tantrum.

Stubbornness is a necessary process for children to test their parents’ limits and learn where to stand. As kids stubbornly try out the parent’s patience, what they’re actually testing is where the limits lie. What happens if you cry out loud at the grocery store and ask for candy? How does my mother react to this behavior? Children constantly shape their behavior with the results they draw from their experiences. Parents’ reactions are very important for the child to learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. According to these reactions, they shape their next behavior and eventually their habits.

Although it is stated that stubbornness is an age and developmental period characteristic, it is a very difficult experience to cope with this behavior as a parent. First of all, the first difficult question; Doing or not doing what a stubborn child wants? Which one more

right? The second challenge is how to react to a child who is stubborn, shouting and objecting? To be angry or to remain calm.

In the face of a stubborn child, even the calmest parent may find it difficult to control their emotions and reactions. Different practices can be suggested on how to deal with a small child who pushes the limits of patience. Especially in the 2-3 age group, an application that works once in stubbornness crises may not be effective in the next crisis. The often unhelpful attitude is to scold and threaten children. It is known that phrases such as “If you don’t stop crying immediately …” are not effective in calming the child or discouraging his stubbornness, on the contrary, the child who is constantly scolded starts to listen to the parents in no case.

Even if we accept stubbornness as a period characteristic, it is not possible for parents to always be calm, understanding and patient during this period. However, a tired, stressed parent may get angry more easily and have a hard time maintaining patience. If one or both of the parents are going through a tense period, they may find it difficult to understand the real needs and feelings of the child. For this reason, they may act stricter and more impatient than they should be, which can cause the situation to become more difficult and the frequency and severity of the crises to increase.

Parents in the face of stubbornness helplessness (how will I deal with this child?), Anxiety (if he is so angry and stubborn at this age, what will happen in the future? Fatigue (I’m tired of going through the same things every day), anger (You would have had my patience now, you deserved a good punishment ) and guilt (where I am wrong, I haven’t been a good enough parent) All these feelings make it harder than it is to deal with stubbornness.

Children observe their parents very well. For this reason, it is usually best to be sincere and honest in communicating with the child. Trying to stay calm even though you are angry, pretending that nothing happened when you are angry with your teeth, or contradicting yourself or your partner about how to behave will not help you cope with the crisis of stubbornness. The ideal parent for children is not the parent who never gets angry or makes mistakes. On the contrary, the social and emotional development of the children of parents who can express their emotions appropriately is positive.

Parents trying to understand their own feelings first will help determine how the child will react to his behavior. Reprimanding a stubborn child, physically punishing them, entering into a power struggle will have negative effects both in solving the problem and in communication between parents and children. Although it is not easy to break the child’s stubbornness and cope with his irritability, it will be more effective to try to find solutions that are suitable for the current situation. A stubborn child

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