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It is known that emotional trauma caused by physical violence does not heal as quickly as physical wounds. Exp. Psychologist Aycan Bulut warns: “The effect of emotional harm in children usually occurs in adolescence or when they become parents.”
Domestic violence; It includes behaviors such as one of the family members exposing the other to emotional, physical and sexual abuse, socially isolating and financially controlling or depriving them.
Witnessing violence in the home seriously affects children and their futures. Behaviors such as aggression and violence are learned from outside. When the child is subjected to violence, he applies the same violence, or even more, to the people around him. Many parents think that the child will not be affected by the violence or that the child will forget what happened. However, children do not forget. It is known that children exposed to domestic violence have higher levels of emotional and behavioral problems compared to other children. Violence and aggression are learned by modeling the parent. Violence can cause children to experience fear and anxiety, irritability, sleep disorders, behavioral and developmental regressions, physical complaints, low self-esteem, lack of confidence in themselves and others, adaptation problems, course failures, attention deficit, communication problems, development of asocial personality and depression. causes.
Aggressive and angry people need physical violence. Angry people also try to intimidate the other person by shouting loudly. Such people have communication problems. These people express themselves by shouting and using violence. They intimidate the other by using violence against people who are younger and weak than themselves. This situation is often experienced between parents and children. However, children need care and protection.
Whatever the child does, violence should not be used to teach or teach discipline. In this situation, the only thing the child will learn is to use violence. Children learn life from the relationship they establish with their parents. In a violent home, the child also begins to commit violence outside the home, and this is natural for him. Parents should be patient and caring with their children from the moment they are born. This can be particularly difficult when one feels distressed, stressed, tired or sad, or when there is no elder family member to help parents in caring for the child. Every parent may have a hard time sometimes, or there may be times when they take the pain out of the children. This is not an indication that they are not good parents. It is necessary to be solution oriented rather than problem oriented. They simply might not be able to use their proper problem-solving skills in harsh conditions. What needs to be done is to activate the calmer parent and develop proper problem-solving skills without overreacting.
Take time for your child. Cuddle, hug, kiss, touch, give positive feedback to your child, tell them you love. Do not run away from your child, do not stay away. Respect what he says and what he thinks. Do not punish. Treat your child the way you want him to be.